Part of the Healing Process

To talk

To grieve

To remember

It's all part of healing.  It's all necessary.

I'm finding it even more so as I sit expecting another baby boy.  It makes the memories a little more fresh, and reminds me of the fear we experienced during those days, weeks and months that followed.

In losing a child, I'm afraid it is just part of what happens.  You're suddenly met with a reality of uncertainty, realizing there is nothing within our control when it really comes down to it.  We as parents are the protectors, and feel that if we hold them close and keep a watchful eye, that nothing could possibly take them from our arms...

And that couldn't be farther from the truth.

So, as we wait for a new little precious bundle to arrive, we sit in anticipation, not knowing for certain the outcome of anything in life.  We are anxious.  We are excited.  We are uncertain.  We are not the same as we once were.

It goes far and wide.  Outside of our immediate family, it hit as well, and the feeling of knowing it's all out of our hands has left it's mark all around us.  We became that family. You know, the one that something awful happened too.  I remember a time, so thankful for it not being us, and praying for others as they went through something awful...

But, us?  It happened, and there is no way to rewind that clock and change it.

We go through the healing, and grieving process and find with every new turn in our life, there is a reminder of the need to continue to allow ourselves the time to heal. 

As we allow our teenage daughter and son to get behind the wheel, as we do our best to protect Marlo from harm, and as we wait in anticipation for our baby boys arrival, we sit on the edge of our seats, in constant prayer...

And in hope that all will be well, as we continue to relearn how to enjoy the ride, once again.