So Long Year

I've thought a lot about this moment these past few days.  

This year wasn't kind to us, so to say I am happy about it being over is an understatement...but with it brings many mixed emotions. 

When we love, we allow our hearts to be vulnerable to every emotion under the sun.  The year started out with so much hope and excitement of what was to come.  Not one time did we ever expect the outcome we received, we just walked forward, almost as if we had blinders on. 

Bad things happen to people we know of, not those close to us, or even not us...at least that was how we looked at things.  We had a rude awakening of how fragile life truly is, how precious it is.  Bad things happen to us all, whether we are good or bad, believe in God or not, none are immune.  A life lesson learned through broken hearts and hardship we never could have imagined.  A Hard Year.  A precious life gone. 

Life.  We go through it making plans of which direction we want to go, how we want it to look, and how we are going to make what we want happen.  Most of the time we don't think about what we could encounter along the way.  This year has changed the way I look at every thing.  I see more clear, love more deeply, and hold on with all I have to every moment and cherish it like there is no tomorrow.  While there is a missing piece in our family, our family must still keep going.  A new year seems like it's a new start.  It allows for a new beginning of sorts.  Last year is over and behind us, but has left memories and longings none the less. 

In 2010, my beautiful son left this earth, so much sooner than I had ever thought possible.  There isn't a day that goes by that he isn't in our thoughts.  That is one thing with a new year that remains.  I can move on to 2011 as a year that doesn't hold that imperfect detail though, and in some small way that brings me some comfort.  A new year doesn't erase the mountains we have climbed, but hopefully we walk into a fresh start having learned some important life lessons.  I believe we have. 

A hard year.  While that may be so, I still put one foot in front of the other, smile, laugh with my family, love with my whole heart, and look forward to the future.  It didn't break me.  I am not strong on my own, it is Christ who strengthens me.  I am certain I would  not have made it through without being carried along the way. 

So long year, I won't miss you...I will miss the special moments and memories, and most of all my little infant son...but as for the year...glad that part is over, and no longer must be done again. 

I walk forward very blessed, and thankful for all I have...for a special family and for a God that loves me more than I could ever imagine. 

Happy New Year.