It happens in a Blink

I was once again reminded of how very fragile life is. 

The kids had ortho appointments today. The lady at the front desk has been very sweet and has asked how we are holding up every time we have come in since we lost Johnny.  She has always made me feel that she was genuinely concerned for the whole family and has shown so much compassion. 

Today it was a reversal of rolls. 

She had a moment and came to ask again how things were going.  This time with a different tone in her voice and demeanor.  Last week when Phil went in to get his braces off I had wondered why she wasn't there.  This week she told me there had been a family emergency that kept her out for several days.

She said that she had felt a heavy heart for us, but until this past week, she didn't fully understand what we had gone through until she received a phone call.  This is the kind that no one would ever want to receive.  Her sister had been in a bad car accident, and her little precious 6 week old niece had passed away as a result of the accident.  She said she instantly thought of me, and how I must have felt to say goodbye, to bury my baby.  It was through a different set of eyes, and aching arms that she spoke to me today.  My heart broke for her, and her family...and then the overwhelming rush of emotions for my sweet Johnny.  She told me because she knew I would understand that pain, and share a moment of understanding in a way that many cannot.  I wish this was something that wasn't familiar to me, because that would mean my son made it, that we didn't have to face this terrible absolute.  But, the truth remains, we all have moments in our life that we look back on with pain, and hurt, knowing there was nothing we could do to change the outcome.   What a horrible feeling to have replay over and over again.  I feel it everyday.  Her sister will feel it everyday. 

There are so many all around us, hurting and just making it minute by minute.  When I look into the eyes of the person down the street, at the store or in the car next to me, I know they have a deep hurt.  We all do, we are all going through something, none of us are immune.  What we all have to grasp in these moments is how precious life is, and how quickly it can all change. 

It happens in the blink of an eye, when we are least prepared.  And it will change us, forever.