Not the way we planned things

I wanted to give you all an update on Johnny.

We were released last night and got home late, around midnight.  Once home he was inconsolable.  He stopped eating completely, and started screaming and didn't stop the entire night.  It was very clear to us that something was wrong.

After a long, and draining day of tears and feelings of uncertainty, the call was made from the Doctor instructing us to take him to the hospital to be admitted.  I was ready to run to the ER, since I didn't want to wait on the lab results.  He was admitted to the NICU this afternoon, and is now sedated, on a ventilator, and will be there for the next 7 days at least.  His lungs were failing, he was struggling for every breath, and hadn't had anything to eat for almost 24 hours when admitted.  We are waiting on lab work, and are unsure of the outcome of those tests.  So no real prognosis.

I sit here typing this and have a hard time believing that what I am saying is about my little boy.  It's never something you expect to happen to your family, but it did, and it's the most horrible feeling I have felt.  My baby is helpless, and I can't help.  He is hurting and I can't take the hurt away.  He is lying on that little bed hooked up to so many machines, and I can't comfort him.  Words cannot describe the way Jake and I are feeling right now.  Scared doesn't begin to paint the picture of what we feel.  The last thing I wanted to do was leave his side tonight, but as I looked down at my feet that were beginning to look like loaves of bread from the swelling... I thought I better get home and get some rest.  Three nights of very little sleep can render anyone useless, and that is the last place I need to be.

I will try to update as soon as I can.  Please pray for my little one.