Growing Up

I've watched my children over the years growing right before my eyes.  It really happens like that!  If I blink, I WILL miss something.  Hard to believe, but so very true.

From the first day we brought Marlo home from Loma Linda NICU, she stayed close to us, every night sleeping (or not...mostly, not!) in our bedroom, not too far from our bed.  We've struggled at the thought of moving her to her very own big girl room that has been set up for her from the moment we knew, she was a she.  After the loss of our son, we've been inclined to hold on a little tighter than we may have otherwise done.

I've cringed at the thought of having to truck up the stairs to calm her when she no doubt would wake up crying and scared, wondering why her parents had deserted her, so far away from what she had always known.  Finally, after much debate, we pulled the trigger and moved her upstairs.  Letting her grow up is hard.  We've done all we can to take it all in.  Every moment, breath, sigh, giggle, and little knocks on the shower door, as she grinned to get in.  Every. Single. Moment.

In the back of my mind, I know how the story goes.  In just a few short years, I will be saying, "Can you believe she is 5, 12, 18?"  It happens so fast!  The thought of that makes me want to throw up.  I also see the beauty in her growing up and changing into a lovely young lady, and look forward to those moments as well.

I just wish it wouldn't happen so fast.

Really though, this letting her go to her own room wasn't about letting her grow up.  You see, the transition for her was easy.  She was ready.   It was Mommy and Daddy who were not.  (Quite frankly, I think she was sick and tired of us bugging her, and wanted her own space.)  ;)

We were the ones who had to grow up and let go a little.  So hard for parents holding on so tight in desperation to take it all in.  Sometimes growing up is hard.  In this case, it was a lesson for Mommy and Daddy.

Marlo has come so far from that tiny little preemie laying helpless in her isolette.  She isn't even two yet, and look how far she has come!  I am in awe of her, everyday.

We think we are teaching her, but so far, she teaches us far more than we could have ever imagined.