If I had only Known

This is not me having a pity party...just some things on my mind today.

Yesterday, a Happy 1st Birthday card came from a certain Baby/Toy store.  It's hard to not let that get to me, but when I heard my daughter say she was upset about it, it broke my heart a little more.  So, trying to be strong, I put a smile on my face, and told her it was okay, and there was no way for them to know.  Her response...."They should know".   Is this going to be a hard weekend?  Oh, just keep smiling....and pray, pray, pray.

A year ago today... Tears were flowing that night when I went to bed.  I am not one to complain about being uncomfortable in pregnancy, it's an absolute joy to me, no matter how I am feeling.  This night was different.  As my wonderful hubby helped to hoist me into our bed...yes I had to be hoisted, It's like 5 feet off the ground and at nine months pregnant a hoist is needed.  :)  Anyway, as he was helping me into bed that night, I just cried out in pain, and told him I was done, that I needed our baby boy to be born.  Just a little over 24 hours later, my water broke.  If I had only known.

Today, not feeling the greatest.  A great big headache kept me up half the night, and is still lingering, although not as bad as it was.  Thankfully my hubs took the day off and was able to take the kids to their classes today.  We home school, but Friday's are busy for them, taking classes with a local private christian school.  It's an all day thing.  One more week until spring break, can't wait!  Since I am staying down for the sake of the babies, I am stuck at home on my left side to help blood flow get to the girls, in hopes to help our "Little A" continue to grow, and hopefully catch up.  Our efforts are on them right now, with the whole family pitching in with all things "Mom", even as far as pushing food on me so I can have a calorie overload going to the girls.  It seems to be working...3lbs in one week!  Grow babies, grow!

My mind is all over the place today.  Trying to focus on my unborn daughters, and the importance of laying low for them...My hubs, who is picking up a lot of slack, working, and taking more than the normal amount of classes for a masters degree. My kids and their schooling, and how they are really feeling about Johnny this week.  Trying to maintain order in the household, as I conduct it all from the couch, amongst other things...But most of all, this is the beginning of a week last year that would forever change the paths of our lives, in ways we never could have imagined.  This is what is on my mind today, and I wonder as I look back:  How have we handled it all in this past year. 

If I had only known.

2 Corinthians 4:8 NLT
We are pressed on every side by troubles, but we are not crushed. We are perplexed, but not driven to despair. 

This is from one of my favorite songs.  I'm Trading My Sorrows

I'm laying them all down for the Joy of the Lord.