Bittersweet

Today has been bittersweet.  We didn't have to go to the hospital today.  Sad and good all at the same time.  There was something comforting in seeing and touching Johnny, and just watching his little chest rise up and down to sustain his life.  It was so hard to walk away from him at the hospital last night and know that I will not be seeing him again in the physical form.  I felt my heart breaking into a million little pieces, and at the same time, God working to comfort me and weave it back together again.  He is in paradise, no better place to be.  My arms will still ache for him, and probably for a very long time.

Today has been bittersweet.  It's our 16th wedding anniversary today.  I am so thankful for a wonderful husband that loves and supports me through all things.  His strength through losing his son has amazed me, and his love and care for all of his family shines brightly through it all.  I couldn't love him more, he brings so much love to me.  What a team we make, so strong and unshakable.  We sit together today, just looking at each other, with no words to say, but eyes that speak louder than words.  So much love in those eyes.

We will get through this.