The Day we said Goodbye

It was just 8 days before that we celebrated the birth of our long awaited son.  8 days later, we had to let him go home.  Not to the home we had prepared for him, but to his eternal home.  He was finally free from the sickness that tormented his precious body. 

To watch our child suffer was unbearable.  To let him go, broke our hearts.  To know he was free from it all, helped numb the pain just a little.  Each day that passes as we think in terms of eternity verses how we feel...it becomes a little easier to grasp.  I think of a little boy playing in the dirt, without a care in the world, running and laughing, happily as he lives a life of freedom from struggle and pain.  Isn't that a beautiful picture?  He is free from the junk we muddle our lives with, he knows no pain.  No tears, no hurt feelings, no ouchies that need bandaging.  He is living a life we all dream and hope of.  Included in this picture, I see my sweet little girl playing along side him, chasing butterflies and picking fragrant flowers as she sings songs that light up the heavens.  This is what I think of, more and more as the days go by. 

The day we said goodbye, my heart was heavy.  I found comfort in knowing Heaven was his home, if his home couldn't be with me.  There was an ache that is hard to describe, and a feeling like the wind was knocked out of me.  I still feel these things today, it just isn't as hard to picture him, where he was meant to be for eternity.  It came so much sooner than I ever would have thought possible.  The day we said goodbye, I held him close to me, just as God was holding me close to him.  We hold him so close still today, and always.  Somethings will never change.  The fog has lifted a bit more, and I can see more clearly than ever the picture of God's grace that Johnny and my sweet daughter are experiencing today, because of the hope we have. 

He is forever loved and forever missed.  Forever close in my heart.  I miss you sweet boy.